(Source: floptina, via welovebritney)
Providing readers with some of the most informative pieces on the basic bitch in all of our lives. Strictly satirical in purpose and lighthearted in method.
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July 17, 2012
July 14, 2012
May 30, 2012
posedpanther answered your question: BASIC BITCH ALERT: Nicole Shitswinger channels personal struggles in Men in Black III
she was probably just paid the trident layers. they save the mcdonald’s gift cards for when floptina makes movie appearances.
Sloptina only accepts Taco Bell gift cards. McDonald’s can only do set catering.
May 12, 2012
Anonymous asked: LMFAO AT THAT LAST ANON. SHIIIIT. That brought much needed tears to my eyes and joy in my heart to see how you read that bitch like a dissertation. Stay perfect.
RIGHT? Who honestly expects a fat slob who had her last album tank massively and her last tour canceled to get paid $2.5 million PER EPISODE? I want whatever shit they’re eating/smoking.
May 12, 2012
Anonymous asked: To floptina anon Britney besides her 15 M is also getting a 24/7 stylist, plus all the things she wants in her dressroom it says that this will cost other 250.000 dolars. Xtina still gets her stylist who hates her and makes her look like a drag queen...(i apologize to drag queens cus they are fierce)
HONESTLY, Cowtina’s stylist tries to fit her in shit that makes her look like that rolled up sausage at the butcher’s that no one wants. Someone tell me who convinced her to walk out in that bedazzled diaper at the season finale of the voice and I’ll buy that stylist a drink or three.
May 12, 2012
Anonymous asked: Britney's been confirmed on X-Factor for a deal of $15 million for 1 season. Christina earns $2.5 million per episode. Times that by the 12 episodes aired for Season 2, alone, she makes about $30 million, double the salary Britney's going to be earning for X-F, later this year, or next year. $2.5 times all 33 episodes of The Voice and Christina makes $82.5 million. Hmm... I'd say that was quite a lot for a "flopping, pig of a judge", don't you think?
THIS WAS TOO FUCKING HILARIOUS TO IGNORE. $2.5 million per EPISODE!? Bitch, that’s the entire cost for one episode of The Voice in TOTAL! How much fucking Taco Bell do you think XXLtina needs!? In fact, reports for last season estimated Sloptina at $225,000 to $588,235 per episode. WHERE are you getting $2.5 million per episode from? You Floptina stans don’t even bother to seem credible anymore, do you?
To put things in perspective, when Simon Cowell shut down rumors of Beyoncé being signed for X-Factor for $100 Million a season, he told us all that the X-Factor budget was at $100 million. X-Factor is a show that has gained their credibility overseas for YEARS, and you’re going to tell me that a fat whore who hasn’t had a hit in years is getting paid almost the entire budget for a show that is much more established than The Voice?
PLEASE. GET REAL.
May 11, 2012
Anonymous asked: What do you think of FAILtina fans trying to defend and justify her crass treatment of Tony Lucca on The Voice? I just don't understand.
You know, I couldn’t help but just laugh at her pathetic ass. Yes, Tony Lucca was being a bit feisty as a result of judging, but her treatment of him was just childish to begin with. The way that she handled the entire situation speaks volumes about her insecurities in the pop game. The whole “britney cover band” line was what showed me how pressed she was that some talent show contestant was making her look like shit.
And you know what? It worked. Her contestant ended up in fourth place. Bye Sloptina!
May 7, 2012
Anonymous asked: Christina only had 1 bad album ? & it wasnt even that bad considering it's on the charts now & she's not a constant failure being she's one of the most successful women in entertainment. trash flops like keri hilson or selena gomez. not xtina.
Oh shit, after being reduced to a bargain bin pricing, maybe she can finally clear up the clearance bin of Bionic CDs just hanging around her house and finally go gold after two years! Maybe she’ll finally get off her lazy ass, put down the LITs and get that Bionic tour on the road, too!
May 7, 2012
Anonymous asked: Dude, Christina has only had one flop album. It's not like she has several flops like Keri Hilson or Ciara. All of her other albums were successful, her movie was a moderate success if you add in overseas box office which is where movies make most of their money nowadays anyways, and she's also the highest paid judge on a high-rated TV show. The Floptina trope is so tired at this point, and frankly, your blog is tired too.
1) J.Lo, a consistent flop in the pop industry, got paid more in her first season on Idol than Christina Aguilera did after a pay raise.
2) Bionic was so bad that combined with a public rejection of Christina Aguilera by much of the pop diva fanbase after the Gaga feud (which revealed her nasty attitude and turned everyone against her for the right reasons), it was practically career-ending. I use the word ‘practically’ very generously, because she still has yet to make up for it with new material, even though we’ve been hearing month after month that she has a new single coming out.
3) I know y’all are grasping at straws with Sloptina’s success, but if you’re going to use the word ‘moderate’ (a word I usually reserve to make fun of other artists) to point out her recent successes, I won’t stop myself from laughing at you and frankly, my work is done here.
4) If my blog is so tired, why’d you take the time to read it? I know there isn’t much new news on your slop fave, but you can take it down a notch and scroll by SOME of the mentions of her name. It’s ok, just keep on reading though! Hope to hear again from you soon! :D
May 5, 2012
trollney asked: WHY do Xtincta fans act like The Voice is just the Christina Aguilera show and everyone who watches it watches it for her?
Well, if we’re talking about mass and weight here, I mean visually you can’t see past the fat bitch. I’m not actually sure what else XTuna fans are thinking, though.
May 5, 2012
Anonymous asked: Christina has (or had, whichever is more appropriate) one of the best voices when she emerged compared to say Britney, but let's face it. she never hit it big and has always been trying to find ways to step out of EVERYONE'S shadow. reasons? Idk but in my opinion it's because she's so fucking un-interesting, that no one cares how good her voice is. and I find it amazing the fans spamming you on here think her being a judge on yet ANOTHER singing competition show is somehow.. redeeming?? please.
But that’s the only thing she’s been doing since Bionic tanked! She knows she’s an outdated flop with a bad attitude, and after the whole Justin and The Wanted fiasco, everyone is starting to see that now. Sloptina stans don’t have any other straws to grasp at, so of COURSE they’re going to say that Floptina is the only reason people watch the voice, the only reason that Moves Like Jagger went #1 and that she looks fantastic after she finally put the fork down for about a week.
May 2, 2012
Anonymous asked: Your blog is hilarious! A friend the family actually worked with Christina Aguilera on a project and his wife got a chance to meet her on a project. She basically told me Christina was on this high horse the whole time. I've never met her, but after hearing about her experience, I won't want to.
Of course she was. Send your friend some edible arrangements and a get well better soon card, she might come down with a case of the hasbeen. Symptoms include weight gain, huge disregard for common courtesy and a staggeringly delusional sense of entitlement.
And thanks for reading my blog, I’m glad that you enjoy it!
April 24, 2012
Anonymous asked: Let's not act like The Voice isn't successful because of Christina. Country people don't watch TV so they're not there for Blake. Maroon 5 didn't have fans until The Voice, and lets be serious.. no one came to watch Cee Lo. There's a reason why she's the most paid out of all 4. Her boyfriend was arrested wrongfully, his BAC was under the limit and she was only taken in because she couldn't drive home herself. Because no one has ever gotten shit faced right, only Xtina?
You see? You Christina stans are just all sorts of delusional. Maroon 5 didn’t have fans? Country people don’t watch tv? Maroon 5 has been huge for quite some time after Songs About Jane, and the faithfulness of the country music fan demographic is frightening (as noted by the success of many country stars today). Yes, she is the most paid out of the four, but mostly because they expected her to bring drama. So snap out of it.
Also, her boyfriend is from my area and grew up around here. He and his family have been very shady from the start. Believe me or not (and you guys can choose to not, I don’t give a shit), his siblings and himself have participated in selling drugs around town when they were younger. Not that this has any reflection on your idol, but you know that old saying: “tell me who you walk with and I’ll tell you who you are.” She’s not the only person to get shitfaced (and we’re not talking about just once here), but when she’s supposed to be an inspiration to the pitiful demographic that is the Christina fanbase, she should learn to carry herself a little bit better.
April 16, 2012
March 5, 2012
just-love-myself-bitch replied to your post: I find it hilarious how you go on and on about Christina being a basic bitch and worship Britney so much…
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