Anonymous asked: IM NOT EVEN A HUGE XTINA FAN I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A SONG but you're stupidity caught my eye. You are truely in every sense of the word DELUSIONAL. She has been on E! news twice in the past three weeks being praised on her new look. Oh but I thought you said she only makes the news when she slips up? I cant even believe, me being a little monster, I am sticking up for her but you are dumb as fuck.
Just for your own well-being anon, I suggest you don’t go around calling yourself a ‘little monster.’ It’s kind of embarrassing. Also, Pigtina looks like a glazed ham so deal with it.
Anonymous asked: Listen if you don't have anything nice to say about Christina Aguilera and her fans why do you continue to waste your time on something you obviously hate? Every time I see one of your posts on the Christina Aguilers tag it's 99% of the time unprovoked. Why don't you just leave Christina and her fans alone, they are innocent people enjoying music that they love and that has even saved their lives. You are a good person so stop spreading unneeded hate. Thank you.
Thank you, I am glad that someone thinks i’m a good person! I’m also glad that you’ve been following me and keeping tabs on my posts in the Christina Aguilera tag. I usually use Google Analytics, but I’m glad that I have readers like you to keep up more specific statistics, like how many times I state facts about Sloptina!
My blog is centered on basic bitches and the flops of the industry. Unfortunately for Christina Aguilera and her fanatics, she is a flop. Therefore, I will write about her when necessary. I know some of you can’t resist looking up what factual shade everyone has to throw at Floptina, but you can always scroll past!
Katy Perry understudy, Britney Spears perfume enthusiast and mildly successful recording artist Jessie J has recently filled the world in on a crazed incident that occurred in her fanbase. As most of us can remember (and fail to forget), Jessie J had broken her foot and wobbled around like a lame horse on a few award shows and concerts. You’d think having broken her foot and needing a bone transplant would have spared us all from her Britney and Katy-Rejected demos she’s trying to pass off as hits, but we’ve only gotten to see more of her.
Well, even though I thought the Gonnoriha navy and the Shitswinger fans were nuts, Jessie J’s stans seem to take things to new and frightening levels. The Sun was informed by a source close to the Dr. Luke cutting-room leftover known as Jessie J of a crazed incident by one of her crazy fans. Apparently, a Jessie J stan had gotten a hold of Jessie J’s personal contact information and had sent her a few messages and pictures of a self-inflicted broken foot. The fan had allegedly told Jessie J that she would “do anything to be just like you.” The stan continued to walk on the broken foot and ignored the injury, thus causing permanent damage to herself.
Where do we begin with this clusterfuck of crazy? I’m not sure whether or not I’m more concerned over the fact that the girl broke her own leg or the fact that Jessie J actually has stans. Assuming she does have stans, they are serious enough to break their own legs over the girl who sang Price Tag and Katy Perry Karaoke demo Domino? If Britney told me to throw myself down the stairs, I’d ask her if she’d want me to land on my neck or on a limb haphazardly. If Beyoncé asked me to slam a door shut on my hand, I’d ask her how many times. Jessie J though? Shit, I wouldn’t even pass that bitch the salt.
Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you’re going to stan for an artist, please make sure that they are worthy of this sort of fucked up behavior and the ridicule it’d bring you after being published in news worldwide. Had it been a more successful artist, maybe the stan wouldn’t come under such scrutiny. After finding out it was for Jessie J, the human incarnation of the Pokemon Ditto, I’m inclined to think that the stan needs to be institutionalized.
Anonymous asked: I just wanted to know do you hate rihanna because you hate rihanna or because of her oh so often dumbass navy wich im apart of but they can be real dumb at time andd yehh?
No, I don’t hate Rihanna. I hate the navy, and only the crazed ones, not the logical and sane ones. Much of the navy is fucking ratchet and stupid, and when they get out of line, they deserve to be knocked down into place. Rihanna ain’t all that. Yes, she makes catchy music. Yes, she can peddle her singles into #1 and flop her album debuts. She is not, however, better than most of the other female artists out there. It’s fine to enjoy her music, but if you’re going to act like she’s some sort of revolutionary instead of a punching bag bajan girl, you’re gonna need to sit down for some t.
Anonymous asked: I love Beyonce way more than I love Rihanna, but I Rihanna has some catchy tunes. I don't think you have to be for one and against another. There's not ONE RiRi song you like?
Rihanna does have some catchy tunes, but that’s all they are: catchy. Have I danced filthily to her music at my parties? Absolutely. Have I drunkenly yelled out lyrics to her songs at the bar? At my age, who hasn’t? It’s when her navy acts like she’s some sort of mega-superstar who is vital to pop culture and the music scene when she’s merely a racy singles artist who can take a punch and then try to act hard when she goes back to her assaulter. Her navy is an embarrassment to her and themselves when they start trying to prove otherwise.
It is a rule I am learning all too often in some of the internet’s harshest and least intelligent forms.
It should come as no surprise to you all that I am a staunch Beyoncé stan. I have no shame over this and admit it with the utmost steadfastness found only in a loyal fan of hers. When someone says something even slightly offensive, intentionally or not, I am the first one to step up to the challenge. I do like to think that I keep it civilized for the most part, but sometimes I get stans of some fucking bargain bin bitch trying to test me and I have to start getting a little nasty with the shade.
The Beyoncé standom, however, is known to be a lot crazier than that. Where I might restrain myself in an argument over her, another Beyoncé stan will gladly tell you to “take your felching elsewhere” or to “eat a bag of assholes.” It’s a blessing and a curse to Beyoncé, as she appreciates the loyalty and fidelity, but even she recognizes that her stans get a little crazy. As an actual stan, I’d like to point out that it’s tough sometimes to show some civility when one of our generation’s most talented and well-rounded entertainers doesn’t get the recognition she deserves.
Stanning does have its limits, and this story is a prime example of complete disregard for those limits. A Chicagoan man by the name of Ronald Deaver, who will now be recognized as one of the most batshit Beyoncé stans to walk this earth, has been charged with felonious assault after allegedly stabbing a man on New Year’s Eve in Garfield Heights. When questioned, Detective Marty Compton reported that the fight had begun because the victim of the assault did not know that Beyoncé was married to Jay-Z. The victim had been taken to the hospital and is currently in good condition. Ronald Deaver was located after attempting to flee and was promptly arrested.
Now I understand some stan-outs in certain situations, and yes, everyone should be well informed on the existence of one of the world’s most talented and wealthiest power couples, but come on. Stabbing someone over Beyoncé’s marital status? Unless the victim was questioning the validity of Beyoncé’s relationship, then this is just completely unwarranted, and EVEN THEN, you could do a little less than stabbing someone.
I love Beyoncé, but I’ll be damned if I’m taking one in-between the cheeks for her in the county slammer. I’ll tell a hater to eat shit, I’ll snatch a wig if I have to, but I refuse to catch a sentence for her, and so should all of you other stans. I’m not going to discourage you from stanning for her, but let’s be sensible about our stanning, ok? The Beyoncé standom doesn’t need to look any crazier.
Every so often, I get people who disagree with what I post here. That’s fine with me, if you’re happy stanning for a flop bitch, then good for you! I hope that waiting for Nicole Scherzinger’s shit album to finally come out in the USA or for Christina Aguilera to put down the Long Island Iced Teas and put out something audible is working out for you. It must be tough to stay delusional enough to back some basic bitch, but hey, someone’s gotta do it right?
However, once a stan starts getting at other people’s faves, the situation changes completely. It is not uncommon for a stan of a basic bitch to start slandering the good name of someone else’s favorite once the credibility of their favorite flop bitch comes into question. Take a Keri Hilson stan, for example:
Keri Stan: “Pretty Girl Rock is such an amazing song!”
Beyoncé Stan: “Bitch, that song is complete shit. I’d rather listen to two bison mating on a hot summer day.”
Keri Stan: “Whatever, you stan for Beyoncé. That bitch is so fake.”
Now, if we look at this exchange, we can find a number of glaring issues. First off, Beyoncé is devoid of flaws, so that shade is just baseless. More importantly, notice how Beyoncé was not the original topic of conversation. Once the Keri Stan felt threatened, they had pulled Beyoncé’s name out of nowhere and attempted to use it as a proper retort. This act of mudslinging is actually quite common in discourse amongst stans of basic bitches, as they are accustomed to grasping at straws in most of their daily lives.
There is, however, a major issue in the dialogue above. There is a complete lack of deference in this exchange. The lack of deference in the world of stans is a growing pandemic that needs to be stopped. For those of you who don’t know what deference is, Merriam-Webster defines it as “respect and esteem due a superior or an elder.” Nowhere in the definition is there a reference to liking or disliking the superior, but there is the aspect of respect, and that’s what confuses most stans. You may not particularly like a certain individual, but you will respect them if they have established themselves as a prominent figure in the game.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for most stans. I have seen way too many Rihanna stans get at Beyoncé, way too many Christina Aguilera stans sling mud at Britney Spears and way too many Lady Gaga fans insulting Madonna. The fact of the matter is, there is a hierarchy in the scene, and trying to get at someone on a higher rung when you’re a stan of someone who is a bottom-feeder of said hierarchy is just foolish. Rihanna stans cannot try and insult Beyoncé, because Rihanna is part of Roc Nation and is getting that Beyoncé money for Jay-Z. Christina Aguilera stans cannot insult Britney Spears because Britney Spears is to the bubblegum pop era what an asteroid was to the dinosaurs. Lady Gaga fans cannot get at Madonna because Lady Gaga is a walking tribute to Madonna.
So then what is one to do, then, when their favorite is a failure and is being dragged through the dirt? Embrace it. Say “yes, I stan for a flop bitch and I know it.” Take it with pride! If a Britney stan is laughing at Christina Aguilera for being a fat sow with no sense of dignity, say “Yes, I know she’s going through some tough times, but I’m still rooting for her!” If a Beyoncé stan is slandering Nicole Scherzinger for her utterly terrible music and complete failure as a solo artist, say “Well, I know she’s not the most talented girl in the game, but she’s trying!” Stan gracefully and realistically, my friends.