Katy Perry understudy, Britney Spears perfume enthusiast and mildly successful recording artist Jessie J has recently filled the world in on a crazed incident that occurred in her fanbase. As most of us can remember (and fail to forget), Jessie J had broken her foot and wobbled around like a lame horse on a few award shows and concerts. You’d think having broken her foot and needing a bone transplant would have spared us all from her Britney and Katy-Rejected demos she’s trying to pass off as hits, but we’ve only gotten to see more of her.
Well, even though I thought the Gonnoriha navy and the Shitswinger fans were nuts, Jessie J’s stans seem to take things to new and frightening levels. The Sun was informed by a source close to the Dr. Luke cutting-room leftover known as Jessie J of a crazed incident by one of her crazy fans. Apparently, a Jessie J stan had gotten a hold of Jessie J’s personal contact information and had sent her a few messages and pictures of a self-inflicted broken foot. The fan had allegedly told Jessie J that she would “do anything to be just like you.” The stan continued to walk on the broken foot and ignored the injury, thus causing permanent damage to herself.
Where do we begin with this clusterfuck of crazy? I’m not sure whether or not I’m more concerned over the fact that the girl broke her own leg or the fact that Jessie J actually has stans. Assuming she does have stans, they are serious enough to break their own legs over the girl who sang Price Tag and Katy Perry Karaoke demo Domino? If Britney told me to throw myself down the stairs, I’d ask her if she’d want me to land on my neck or on a limb haphazardly. If Beyoncé asked me to slam a door shut on my hand, I’d ask her how many times. Jessie J though? Shit, I wouldn’t even pass that bitch the salt.
Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you’re going to stan for an artist, please make sure that they are worthy of this sort of fucked up behavior and the ridicule it’d bring you after being published in news worldwide. Had it been a more successful artist, maybe the stan wouldn’t come under such scrutiny. After finding out it was for Jessie J, the human incarnation of the Pokemon Ditto, I’m inclined to think that the stan needs to be institutionalized.