How you feel about Katy Perry saying she doesnt like that people think she wants to be like Gaga cus she wants to be like Britney? // also... big BIG fan of your blog!. Love it!!!“many people think that I wanna be just like Lady Gaga but what they don’t know is that I want to be like Britney Spears” - Katy Perry
I mean, let’s be real here: who doesn’t? Either way, she can’t be like Gaga; it would require her to have some sort of depth. and thanks for the love, boo.
BASIC BITCH ALERT: Kristen Stewart EXPOSED as cheater, Twilight fandom is mentally defunct
It is common knowledge to many that nobody gives a flying fuck about Twilight anymore. Stephanie Meyer’s abomination of modern literature has been more than overshadowed by better pieces of work as of late, and the movies are simply embarrassing. Despite public apathy towards the feminist nightmare that is Twilight, the general crazies are still around, projecting their worthlessness onto the dying series and its actors. This delusion has recently come into attack, however, by the recent scandal between Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and a disgusting married father of two with wandering morals (and questionable tastes).
On Tuesday night, USA Today broke the story that rocked a pathetic fandom down to its knees. On July 17, 2012, Kristen Stewart was photographed with the director of her most recent movie, Snow White and the Huntsmen (a film that has long since been finished). Rupert Sanders had allegedly called Kristen Stewart after she got out of the gym and asked her to meet up with him. Kristen sneakily drove her Mini-Cooper to an unknown location to meet up with him right after her workout and was caught grinding her ass all up on Sanders’ penis (as illustrated above in the title pic). Fearing the risk of getting caught, Stewart and Sanders drove off in Stewart’s Mini-Cooper to another location where they thought they would not be seen. They were absolutely wrong. Hidden photographers caught Stewart and Sanders getting even nastier in her car, and even snapped photos of Stewart with, as bad bitch Azealia Banks would refer to it as, “that cunt getting eaten.” (which is also displayed in the title pic).
Kristen Stewart, a known hater of the press and paparazzi, mustered up enough integrity to issue a public statement herself to People Magazine:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry,” Stewart said in a statement Wednesday.
BBToday finds a few things wrong with this clusterfuck of a mess. Let’s start off with the question that I’m sure is running through everyone’s mind: her? Kristen Stewart? REALLY? Stewart is as basic as they come and I’m sure having sex with her is like having sex with two pillows and a wet motel room towel, considering her inability to emote any sort of emotion whatsoever. Her O face is probably a stuttered sigh and dead eyes. Secondly, the man was married WITH TWO CHILDREN. This is compounded by the fact that she worked with both the wife (who played her mother in SWATH) and the children in her movie with Sanders. It’s as if Kristen was trying to give Alicia Keys a run for her money as the world’s grossest homewrecker. That shit just ain’t right and definitely brands you as the most trifling and foulest of basic bitches. Lastly, and the most disturbing fact behind all of this, Sanders ate Kristen’s box right after she got out of the gym? She’s clearly wearing her gym clothes, and he still dove right in? That shit is GROSS. Girl, I hope you had some vagisil wipes or something! She must be trying to become the new spokesperson for Vulva Original’s perfume line.
You all must be wondering, “why the fuck did BBToday write about this shit?” or “who the hell gives a fuck?” Well let me tell you, this scandal is probably the most hilarious shit to have happened in a LONG TIME to both pop culture and the celebrity world. The Robsten tag (‘Robsten’ being the abbreviated name for Robert and Kristen as a couple) is legitimately displaying quite the parade of basic ass bitches from all over the world showing extreme delusion and lunacy. The scandal also signifies the end of an era in the most dramatic and hilarious way possible, since the dumbest couple since Romeo & Juliet has ended in the most humiliating way possible, crushing the hopes and dreams of many fools on this god-forsaken planet. It’s even managed to seep its way onto news outlets like E! in the form of the most hilarious, craziest, and ugliest way possible:
So if you haven’t done your part in laughing at or ridiculing whatever Twilight fans you know or come across, BBToday hopes you educated yourself enough on this ridiculous scandal enough to snatch some wigs and put some basic bitches in their places.