May 2012
126 posts
posedpanther answered your question: BASIC BITCH ALERT: Nicole Shitswinger channels personal struggles in Men in Black III
she was probably just paid the trident layers. they save the mcdonald’s gift cards for when floptina makes movie appearances.
Sloptina only accepts Taco Bell gift cards. McDonald’s can only do set catering.
Ashley Tisdale or Vanessa Hudgens? // Selena Gomez , Demi Lovato or Miley Cyrus? // Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? #random i know but pick one of each group who is the boss bitch and who is the basic bitch of each group? :) LOOVE THE BLOG BTW
How about we just purge the earth of everyone on that list except Demi Lovato and Lindsay Lohan? I could do without Ashley Tisdale and Selena Gomez’s lack of personality, Miley Cyrus’s huge ass buckteeth and Vanessa Hudgens’s inability to shave her cooter. Lindsay and Demi get to stay for the tabloid fodder and entertainment value.
(Thanks for the love, by the way :D)
i think it's funny cause you waste your time talking about nicole when you don't like her. haters gonna hate, always. you must be a shit.
Read the title of this blog. This blog is about basic bitches, and Nicole Shitswinger is pretty much the apex of basic. BBToday writes about her in order to provide a good laugh to everyone, and rightfully so! She’s a waste of oxygen!
You also had some errors in your article usage. I’m THE shit, bitch. Might want to proofread your posts next time before you embarrass yourself.
BASIC BITCH ALERT: Nicole Shitswinger channels personal struggles in Men in Black III
Like everyone else in the USA this weekend, I drank and ate ridiculously large quantities of food & liquor and went to the movies. Having already seen The Avengers and preferring to eat hot charcoal than watch Battleship with Rihgret, I purchased tickets for Men in Black III, which turned out to be pretty good! It was a funny movie and ended up being very entertaining. What is following is a tale of my experience with the movie, that contains minor spoilers. It doesn’t really reveal much that you don’t see in the trailer, but I figured I’d at least give you a courtesy spoiler warning. I am, after all, a man of courtesy!
As I sat down with my goobers and sour gummi worms, I was ready for a good time. Within the first scene, however, I was assaulted with a sight that I was not prepared for. As soon as the movie opens, we are treated to a scene where Nicole Shitswinger is dressed in some whoreish latex, carrying a cake. Confused, I turned to my friend and asked her if this was Men in Black III, not Nicole Shitswinger’s autobiographical movie. I mean, I know it’s been rough for the old broad, but I didn’t think she was desperate enough to start filming her waitress shifts in order to try and cash in on that.
Alas, within a few rushed seconds, we are told that she is a visitor of some highly dangerous alien, by the name of Boris the Animal (the movie’s main villain). Being escorted by a few guards, Shitswinger carries the cake with her to the animal in a sultry yet somber mood. When the vault opens, a shackled-up older looking alien greets them. We are then treated (and I shit you not) to a shot of the alien sticking a long, fleshy appendage into Shitswinger’s mouth. I was convinced at that moment that the scene was a dramatization of Shitswinger and her record label’s meetings regarding her music.
Inside the cake is an alien of some sort and it helps them break out. The prison guards escorting Shitswinger are killed, and the prison goes into a huge lockdown mode. Aided by Shitswinger and a large phallic-looking gun, Boris faces the prison guards. Shitswinger shoots a huge hole into the moon-based prison’s ceiling, and all of the guards are sucked out into space. Shitswinger grabs onto the alien with a look of desperation. She is let go and with the tables turned, SHE is sucked (right out of the prison and into space). This confirmed it: I was watching a reenactment of Nicole Shitswinger attempting to get Interscope to release Killer Love here in the states.
Now, I will say that seeing Shitswinger killed within minutes of the movie’s beginning scene was a pleasant surprise (I mean, she was no where to be seen in the movie trailer so there was no way to know that she was in it). I will even admit that Shitswinger’s reenactment of her struggles with her record company somewhat touched me. However, I’m having a hard time deciding whether having Nicole Shitswinger as an intergalactic whore was a movie budget’s worst expenditure this year or if that title went to Rihanna as a butch Navy soldier in Battleship. I’m sure Shitswinger was paid her worth (a gift card to McDonald’s and a pack of Trident Layers), but even that seems a little much in these trying times. Oh well.
blackout is literally perfect
If a album take 5years to reach 1million sales is that a flop??
Not when it debuts with strong numbers (and only comes #2 to another artist after shady policy changes that occur within that same week of its debut) with little to no promo on account of the artist’s personal issues, and not when it’s considered to be one of her greatest works in her career (and one of the best albums of the decade). Nice try though.
I respect Britney, why you no respect Nicole?
Because Britney actually gets her albums released (with major success) and doesn’t have to turn tricks for tracks. Everyone should respect Britney for being one of the major leaders in the female pop game. Nicole Shitswinger is more of a skidmark on the female pop game. Respect is given where it is due, so therefore Nicole Shitswinger gets none.
Do you think Nicki's ass and/or boobs are fake? and...what its wrong with her nose? o.o
girl, why do you think she calls herself the harajuku BARBIE? that bitch is all plastic. Also…
This is also a good time to mention that my petition for Nicki Minaj to burn her ratchet-ass green wig from the Starships review post is still up. Please feel free to sign it so that we are one step closer to Nicki being a little less hoodrat. A few people already signed it but we can always use more!
omfg i remember when the i wanna go video came out all these flops were accusing the holy spearit of copying avril lavigne and i screeched
Was that even a thing? I never heard of this. You already know I would’ve been dragging Avril Lasagna stans to the fucking ground if I knew of that tomfoolery. There’s no Avril stans left in the United States, I think. They’re only left in the poor sectors of third world countries who still get Miami Vice televised in their areas.
My sister is so fucking annoying! I am a VERY big fan of Britney Spears, grew up with her and all that and I just couldn't bare that the music-oblivious idiotic sister of mine had the nerve of saying that Godney copied Avril Lavagina's hair on Till The World Ends. Bitch please. And to top it all off, she keeps on saying that Avril is more successful than any other artists. I just couldn't listen to Alice and shit. I want this bitch dead.
Aren’t sisters just the worst? My sister (who is also a devout Britney fan) was bugging me the other day when I was watching the Femme Fatale tour on DVD for the millionth time, telling me that I was “obsessed.” I simply threatened to throw her down the stairs if she ever came at me again and she has stopped.
You seem to be dealing with something much more alarming, though. A family member who stans for Avril Lavigne is a family member who is better off dead, tbh. I think there’s even a family policy in China recently implemented for daughters who still stan for Avril, where they allow them to be drowned in the river. We don’t need to get as barbaric, though. I suggest simply frustrating her by saying the same damn thing everyone else on this planet does when she mentions her to you: “WHO?” She’ll tire out eventually and hopefully stan for someone new. If that fails to work, you might have to resort to the more drastic measures…
I'm not a huge fan of Cheryl Cole, but I do like some of her music yet these Nicole Scherslopper fans are ridiculous. Because Cheryl has a song called "Love Killer" they're trying to compare her to Nicole's "Killer Love". What kind of bullshit is that? Are they threatened by an album that hasn't even come out yet?
Well, you know how it goes with Nicole Shitswinger stans. Most of them have mental issues and are completely devoid of any shame and rationale. They’re just upset because Cheryl just SLAYED the stage at The Voice UK and is already gaining attention for her third and what is sure to be another wonderful album. Shitswinger, on the other hand, has done nothing but pander press-on nails and die within the first few minutes of Men In Black 3. It’s simply jealousy over the fact that Cheryl has a legitimate musical career while Nicole Shitswinger is still suckin’ dick for tracks.
Hi im a Miley Cyrus (<3) fan and i love ur blog...what do you think about my awesome fave? :)
Thanks for the love and all but GIRL…
Ain’t no one here for that second-rate Britney wannabe reject. Yes, she brought in some success with the Hannah Montana era, but that was about it. Her attempt to crossover into the real world with her music flopped HARD and her acting is even worse. She is as basic as they come. Sorry boo, but it’s true.
Is it bad that i think Kylie is better than Beyonce&Britney!?
idk boo idk. I think it depends on your age and tastes. I love all three, and I will say that I enjoy Britney and Beyoncé more, but that’s not to say that I think Kylie is any lesser than they are. I prefer not to compare my faves to each other. Just listen to them all and enjoy their music!
Just wondering, what do you think of Kylie Minogue's new single/video "Timebomb"? I'm interested in knowing your opinion
I’ve mentioned it a few times on the site before, but in case y’all missed it, I’ll just say it again: I fucking ADORE Kylie Minogue. It’s a shame that the American market only catches onto her in bits and pieces, but where she falls short of monumental success in album sales, she makes up for ten times over in concerts. She is a goddess of pop music and makes genuine and fun music.
Kylie just dropped the video for Timebomb and it’s just as fantastic as the song. The ageless beauty is strutting around town being the bad bitch that she is. She looks absolutely fantastic and age-defying, which makes up greatly for her white-girl dancing. There’s not much to the video, but it serves its purpose well, which is to show how flawless she is looking these days. The song is very catchy too, and although it may not be a powerful contender for a lead single, it’s a great indicator of what is to come for Kylie’s next era!
The only problem I find with this entire video and song is the fact that I can’t get it off repeat. Someone help me!
